Author Topic: Full Time Residents Come Home  (Read 986 times)

Offline Tamkid

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 854
Full Time Residents Come Home
« on: May 24, 2018, 13:29:20 pm »
This post is directed at the few actual full-time residents of Fuerteventura on the forum. I think it unfair that you don’t really know what you are missing back in the UK, we are now a much more civilised and integrated society than when you left, below is an example.

You will probably not have heard, as it wasn’t widely reported in the media, there was a Establishment Wedding held at Westminster last Saturday.  The theme of the £32,000,000 wedding was to show the plebs diversity and integration, the highlight being a rousing sermon by an American Black Preacher. He took everyone by surprise by insisting “Love is Power” and “Power is Love”, he said these words 1,356 times, you could see the confused looks on the Establishment multi-millionaires faces, all these years they had thought “money and being part of the establishment” was power.

At the end of the speech they all stood up as one and cheered with pure joy at being shown the light, Fergie threw her knickers at the preacher, the Queen clapped and cheered shouting “More” “More”, Andrew groped anything in a skirt, and Prince Philip pumped the air with his fist shouting “Go on my Son” just unbelievable scenes.

A bit of a downer was when it was reported two BBC Commentators had heart attacks when they realised the preacher was Black.

The diversity theme of the occasion has turned out to have been a complete success, the multi-millionaires have all declared they will employ immigrants and asylum seekers as their cleaners, nanny’s and gardeners (zero hours of course), Elton John has declared him and his missus will only adopt Asian/Black children in future, Henley regatta will include Blacks, Asians and Geordies within their teams, Royal Ascot will open its doors to immigrants from all countries provided they do not wear flip flops, the empty rooms in all of the royal residences will be open to the London homeless, but best of all, at least from my point of view is the FA have declared they will allow more English born players to play in Premiership Teams, they have upped the limit to three per team, from what is now only one, it could be two, I’m not really sure. Regarding ownership of the clubs and the managerial status, that is still under consideration.

These are joyous times in the UK, you have no idea of what you are missing, come home and experience it for yourself, after a week you will wonder why you ever left, we are one big happy, prosperous integrated family.

We are also in for a one-billion-pound windfall from all the tourists that will come teaming into the country because of the wedding, this will be shared throughout the land, sorry, I got that wrong, south of Watford.

Happy Days



Offline spitfire58

  • Fife, Scotland & Valles de Ortega, Fuerteventura
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,113
  • Gender: Male
  • Just tell me how soon I can retire !!
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2018, 13:44:08 pm »
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Offline Ivemovedon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,786
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2018, 13:50:23 pm »
what wedding?

Offline dagwood

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,134
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2018, 16:00:53 pm »
I honestly believe that I’m going to get blamed for something or other on this post. Definitely not guilty. 😉😉😉

Offline Tamkid

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2018, 16:38:11 pm »
I must admit boys, its a pretty bad post, my apologies for hurting your tender natures. I have been diagnosed with "Pre and Post Royal Wedding stress disorder", and tend to ramble on a bit. I promise not to post anymore of my strange, if not mentally disturbed  humour type monologues. I am off on holiday to see if I can relieve my stress, play nicely and keep the faith.

Offline Ivemovedon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,786
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2018, 17:15:10 pm »
I honestly believe that I’m going to get blamed for something or other on this post. Definitely not guilty. 😉😉😉

Wasting your time daggie nobody can read your posts ,they've all blocked you except me. LOL

I'm probably on the hit list too, But then again I've always been happy talking to myself so it's carry on regardless as far as I'm concerned. ;)

Offline dagwood

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,134
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2018, 17:35:12 pm »
I have a few blocked myself.
Hi Ivemovedon this is really exciting, we can expect the YR sauce questions shortly. We could do with a bit of name calling etc. to get the blood pumping.
At least were not blind we can see one another.   
« Last Edit: May 24, 2018, 17:44:01 pm by dagwood »

Offline Ivemovedon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,786
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2018, 07:40:50 am »
You have to laugh.

General chat with not a single comment in 2 days. Looks like the blockers have got their wish, peace and quiet...and a dead as a door nail forum. Come on all you blockers lets hear something out of you even if it's a bus timetable or whether they sell disposable nappies in imprecasa. :-* (oops forgot...nobody can hear me)

Offline erik_tonny

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 866
  • It Ain't Necessarily So
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2018, 08:29:20 am »
 :-X

Offline Ivemovedon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,786
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2018, 09:42:44 am »
A funny face from sperik. Well it's something i suppose.

Offline dagwood

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,134
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2018, 10:01:36 am »

One day, while in Brighton I called on Miss Brown

She was up in the bathroom and couldn't come down

I said slip on something and get down here quick

So she slipped on the soap and was down in a tic.

Offline paully

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,391
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2018, 10:40:28 am »
I`m here as well guys..can`t see the point of blocking anybody, you`re either a keyboard warrior and /or shrinking violet if you do...If what you say is said in all honesty, it might be pure controversy, attract a  bit of aggro and disagreement but such is the nature of debate. But if you`re not being honest hmmm...different ball game..

   Still at least we are talking amongst ourselves and we can fall out and annoy each other to our hearts content ;D ;D ;D

Offline Johnrgby2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,440
  • Gender: Male
  • Don't confuse my attitude with my personality.
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2018, 10:59:51 am »
Yes, I am here also, very much with Paully on this, do not lock anyone,  just selective of what I read and to whom I respond.

Offline Ivemovedon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,786
Re: Full Time Residents Come Home
« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2018, 11:45:10 am »
That's the spirit lads.