Author Topic: Watch where you step!  (Read 252 times)

Offline TamaraEnLaPlaya

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Watch where you step!
« on: May 28, 2018, 01:20:27 am »
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
 
  When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in
 heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
 
  So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the
 place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they
 try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
 
  Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
 
  St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping
 on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
 
 The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along
 comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely
 ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the
 first woman.
 
  The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained
 for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
 
  She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
 Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
 .. very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
 
 
  St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
 
  The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to
 you for all of eternity?"
  The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Offline Tel501

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Re: Watch where you step!
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2018, 05:12:08 am »

Three men die on Christmas eve, to get into heaven St Peter says "you must have something on you that represents Christmas" The Englishman flicks on his lighter and says " it's a candle" St Peter lets him pass. The Welshman jingles his keys and says " They're sleigh bells" St Peter lets him pass. The Irishman pulls out a G String and a bra, St Peter says " how the heck do they represent Christmas?"....Paddy says " They're Carols."

Offline hairybiker

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Re: Watch where you step!
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2018, 09:27:00 am »
And a Scotsman pulls out his pen15 and waves it about.

St Peter says, "What's that got to do with Xmas?!

"It's a wee cracker" came the reply